服务组出品16：自私的儿子

amy

请在下列地址观看：

http://v.qq.com/page/l/q/1/l0307rfwaq1.html

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/BpmIqYyOwBs/

内容摘要：

I am frustrated with Michaelbecause he is acting so self-centered

  我感觉很沮丧，因为迈克总是以自我为中心。

and he is not raised that way.

我们并不是这样教他的。

Michael is self-centered. Is that true?

迈克以自我为中心，这是真的吗？

Yes.

是的。

He is self-centered. -Yes.

  他以自我为中心。---是的。

Can you absolutely know that is true, he isself-centered?

你能确定这是真的吗，他以自我为中心？

Now notice how you react, what happens whenyou believe the thought,

现在注意你是如何反应的，当你相信这个想法时，发生了什么？

Michael is self-centered？

迈克以自我为中心？

I get frustrated. I have a knot in my stomach.

我很沮丧。我感到很难受。

Close your eyes. Do you see the situation?

闭上你的眼睛。你看到那个场景了吗？

The knot in your stomach... You're frustrated.

你感到很难受..... 你很沮丧。

Now notice how you treat Michael, notice howyou react when you believe the thought:

现在注意你是如何对待迈克的，留意当你相信他以自我为中心这念头时“他，你是如何反应的？

He is self-centered. 。

I am on the phone with him because it is along distance  

我正在跟他打电话，因为我们相隔很远。

I am pacing and I'm really agitated.

我踱来踱去，真的很激动。

How do you let him know?

你是如何让他知道这一点的？

By arguing.

通过争论。

You're on the phone.  You see it?

你在打电话。你看到了吗（在打电话的场景）？

Who would you be without the thought? In thissituation?

没有这个想法，你会是什么样子？在这个场景里？

Without the thought: He is self-centered.

没有这个想法：他以自我为中心。

Just be seeing the reality.

仅仅只是看到现实。

His reality.

他的现实。

Everyone wants to know what a son reallythinks. He is telling you.

每个人都想知道自己儿子真正的想法。他正在告诉你。

Turn it around. What is the opposite ofself-centered?

反转一下。以自我为中心的反面是什么？

Generous and grateful.

慷慨和感恩。

My son is generous and grateful. Tell me, inthis situation ...

我儿子是慷慨和感恩的。告诉我，在这个场景里。。。。

That I-know mind.

那个“我知道”的头脑。

Open it, just for a moment.

对它开放，只在这一时刻。

In that situation, give me an example where heis generous and grateful.

在那种场景下，给我一个例子，他是慷慨和感恩的。

Everything he wants to do is for hisdaughters.

他想做的每一件事都是为了他的女儿们。

After all, he wants that. -This Is one.

毕竟，那是他想要的。----这是一个例子。

*

He wants to do it for his daughters.

他想要为他的女儿们这样做。

I have another one, you want to hear it?

我有另一个例子，你想听吗？

He is telling you what he needs, what hewants.

他正在告诉你，他所需、他所要的。

He is spilling his guts out to you.

他在对你掏心掏肺。

That's generous.

这是很慷慨的行为。

Some children do not even speak to theirmothers.

有些孩子甚至不愿意跟他们的母亲说话。

My son is self-centered. Can you find anotherturnaround?

我的儿子以自我为中心。你能找到另个反转吗？

I...

我。。。。。

I am self-centered? -Yes.

我以自我为中心？---是的。

I wasn't thinking that.

我并没有那样想。

Well, give me an example of where were youcompletely self-centered in that call?

那么，给我一个例子，在那个电话中你哪些地方是完全以自我为中心的？

I was self-centered, because I wanted him to

我以自我为中心，因为我想他

appreciate what I and his dad have done forhim.

感激我和他父亲所为他做的一切。

That would certainly be one.

这当然算是一个例子。

Give me another example.

给我另一个例子。

I was self-centered, because

我以自我为中心，因为

I believed my choices for him was better.

我相信我为他选择是更好的。

Give me another one.

给我另一个例子。

我已经给了一个是他的例子。是不是该找个我的例子

I was self-centered ... -And here is why:

我是以自我为中心。。。。。因为：

Where you were being self-centered. That wasthe pain you were feeling.

当你以自我为中心的时候，那正是你感觉到痛苦的所在。

There's where it came from. And you wereblaming your son for that.

它（痛苦）就是从那里来的。你却因为这个而责备你儿子。

My self-centeredness hurt me. Hisself-centeredness can not hurt me.

我的以自我为中心伤害了我。他的自我为中心不能伤害我。

You know, you do not want him to beself-centered.

你知道，你不想他以自我为中心。

So, why do you want it for yourself?

可是，为什么你想自己这样呢？

You want to spare him that, so that he canhave a good life.

你想要他从中解脱，这样他就可以有更好生活。

Well, spare you that.

那么，放过你自己吧。

We teach our children not to be self-centered.

我们教育我们的孩子不要以自我为中心。

And... let's not talk about me.

可是我们却不准他们不谈论我们的不是。

The Work works, when you sit as meditation

当你如冥想一般坐下来时，功课起作用了。

and all four questions and turnarounds andexamples.

所有四个提问和反转以及例子。

It will shift the way you experience your son

它将转变你看待儿子的方式。

completely.

彻底地。

And that is the end of your suffering. Andthen he is on his own.

那就是你受苦的终结。然后他做回他自己。

Every man is on himself.

每个人都只是做他自己。

But as you live without self-centeredness

但当你没有以自我为中心的活着，

They catch on very quickly.  They learn from example.

他们可以很快的跟上。他们从榜样中学习。

Just like we did.

就象我们所做的。

It is hard. -It's Harder not to do.

这很难。---但不做会更难。

This is true.

这是真的。

Living as self-centered human being and blindto it

以自我为中心的活着，却无视这种行为，

*

That is a painful existence.

这是一个痛苦的存在。