读凯蒂学英文 心的旅程 - 访问San Quentin监狱的感受（1） ...

老鼠Jerry

心的旅程
Mollie Shea: A Trip Inside

大家好，
Dear All，

我坐在电脑前，思索着怎样才能将我对San Quentin监狱的访问后的感受淋漓精致地表达出来，那次访问改变了我的人生。大半年前，经过监狱的五道安全防卫门，我终于进入到（监狱）内部。出人意料的是，这个（监狱）内部探索之旅竟让我从内心深处审视了自身存在的大部分偏见，从而敞开心扉，体会到什么是真正的自由。
I’m sitting in front of my computer, listening for words that could give adequate voice to the life changing experience of visiting San Quentin. It’s been over half a year since I walked through the prison’s five security gates to enter the world “inside”, a world that unexpectedly opened my mind to understanding true freedom, a reality that took me inside my most prejudiced thoughts to meet the depths of my heart.

从一开始，我就感到内心深处（有种声音）呼唤我来到San Quentin监狱。当我在听凯特向一群人描述监狱（访问）计划时，突然间，内心深处（有种东西）驱使我来做自愿者，如果（这项计划）有任何需要的话。
It was really my heart that called me to go to San Quentin in the first place. I was listening to Katie describe the Prison Project to a group of people and suddenly, something in my heart just moved me to volunteer if help was needed.

是爱带我去到大部分神奇的地方，我正在学习如何聆听心灵的召唤，完完全全地相信爱的指引。
Love takes me to the most amazing places, and I’m learning to trust its lead completely.

我该怎么才能将那种（功课所带来的）自我觉醒的状态准确地描述出来呢？自从我们与那些处在最高安全警戒中（被关押在丘陵和H形牢房）的人分享功课之后，改变从未停止。我可以告诉你他们求知的眼睛和热忱，探索的头脑深深的印在我脑海中，每一天都激励着我，他们对真理的无私追求和真诚的分享给我勇气去去做同样的事情，不管在何种情况下。
What can I possibly say that would accurately describe the insights that continue to surface, the changes that take place still after sharing The Work with men in maximum security, on The Hill, and those living in the H block? I can tell you that their searching eyes and earnest, inquiring minds stay with me, inspiring me every day. Their dedication to seeing the truth and willingness to share honestly give me courage to do the same, no matter what the circumstances.

当凯特与关进监狱的退伍老兵在森严的戒备下完成了上午的功课后，大约有20分钟的时间，我们坐在一起。
After a morning session in which Katie did The Work with incarcerated veterans living in maximum security, we all sat with one another for about twenty minutes.

在我旁边的那个人在丘陵中的（牢房）住了有16年。我觉得他是一个有点害羞的人，白天他看上去是一个勤劳的工人，晚上在自己的牢房他则是一个艺术家。
The man next to me had lived on The Hill for sixteen years. I experienced him as a shy man, seemingly a dedicated worker by day at his job in prison, and artist by night while locked in his cell.

他注视着我的眼睛，安静地告诉我他杀了自己的妹夫以及多年以前发生的所有事情及原因。他告诉我他第一次看到，当时他之所以会那么极端的做法，是因为他相信了那个念头，那个他认为他所做的一切是为了保护他的妹妹。他告诉我他在监狱的第一个五年， 他是怎样觉得他好像生活在噩梦中永远不能醒来，他没有办法相信他实际上杀了一个人这个事实。
He looked deeply into my eyes as he quietly told me he had killed his brother in law, all those many years ago, and why. He told me how he could begin to see, for the first time, that the actions he had taken, though drastic, were directly caused by believing the thought that he was doing the right thing to protect his sister. He told me of how, for the first five years in jail, he felt as though he was in a nightmare, and couldn’t wake up; he couldn’t believe how everything had changed so radically and that he had actually killed someone.

很多年以后，他一直都生活在懊悔之中，他认识到他原本以为会带给他的家庭平静的行为，实际上给家庭造成了损失，甚至带来了更多的困惑。 在自省中， 他认识到有很多种方法他都可以帮助他的妹妹，而不是暴力。在练习了一上午的功课之后，他说他再也不会说他知道做什么是对别人好，再也不会。
Over many more years, he lived remorsefully with the realization that the action he thought was going to bring more peace to his family actually brought loss and generated even more confusion. Retrospectively, he saw that there were many other ways he might have been of help to his sister that didn’t require violence. After practicing just one morning of The Work, this man said that he couldn’t claim to know what was right for anyone else, ever again.