节选自《我需要你的爱，这是真的吗？》

By the time we leave childhood,a lot of us are still doing flips of one kind or another,seeking approval from almost every one we know----our partners and children,our parents,our colleagues at work,even the stranger in the elevator.
虽然我们已经不是孩子了，但是很多人仍然在翻着这样或那样的跟头。我们几乎在追求着每一个人的认可——我们的伴侣和小孩、我们的父母、一起工作的同事、甚至电梯里的陌生人。

Seeking approval becomes so much a part of our lives that it’s automatic.
追求认可成为我们生活的很大一部分，它完全是自动的——我们几乎完全不知道自己正在追求认可。

We hardly know we’re doing it.It’s easier to notice the anxiety it creates out there among our friends and colleagues:
比较容易注意到的，是它在朋友及同事中引起的焦虑：

This one is chatty and amusing when she’s with you but quiet when her fiancé is around.
这个人，和你在一起时有说有笑，她的未婚夫一出现，就变得十分安静；

That one at work is always sucking up to the boos.
那个人，工作时总是在拍老板的马屁；

This one has to be the center of attention.
这个人，时刻都想成为大家注意的中心；

This member of the yoga group is particularly calm and smiley when the teacher is around.
那个和你一起练瑜伽的同修，看见老师来了，就表现得格外平静和喜悦；

That one is a doormat for her kids.
还有那位，在她的孩子面前，总是逆来顺受。